i have no one

Monday -- one of the hardest days for the human race.

Mornings are slow and cranky. Evenings are plain tired and cranky.

But the crankiness dissapates with a phone call from Daddy who's out of town on a business trip. Emma goes from slamming doors and grunting at me to sweet and innocent, "Hi Daddy. -- Getting ready for bed. -- I had fun..."

After the conversation ends I get a glaring stare. Where did she go again? Who is this?

Me: "I know we've talked about this before, but help me understand how come you are so angry at me? And so able to not be angry with Daddy? It's hard to understand because you seem to have a hard time not being cranky and suddenly with Daddy it's gone."

Emma: "It's because you told Daddy the truth. I had lied and then he spanked me"

*** Editor's note: This incident happened two years ago. My understanding from the two parties is that she's only been spanked that one time. I am personally 100% opposed to spanking and will never agree it is needed, but out of respect to Emma's Daddy, I have chosen to step off my box and let him parent how he finds is most suitable to him, unless I assess his behavior to be harmful to our child. In return, I expect him to observe my methods and sound an alarm if need be.

Me: "Emma, we have talked about this. You did not get a spanking because Mommy told the truth. You were spanked because you lied."

Emma: "But it was pain. And I'm afraid of Daddy now that he will spank me again."

Me: "Has there been other times that you were spanked?"

Emma: "Just that one.... well, maybe before I remember..."

Me: "I don't believe there's been any other times. But you still didn't really explain why you are so angry and cranky just with Mommy."

Emma: "But Mommy, it's just that there is so much angry inside me and it has to come out and I have no one else to be anry at but you. I have no one else... and with you I know that you don't spank so I can be cranky."

Me: (stomped once again) "I see. And you are right. We all need to feel safe enough to be angry. It's okay, you can be angry with Mommy."

My question is what am I going to do when this child developmentally is capable of abstract thought, when at six I get this??? Anyone??